Jess (ooshiny) wrote in nerds_ahoy,

my application to amuse you fine folks

[ Basics ]

What is your name? Jess

Where do you rest your head? On a pillow, which is on a futon mattress, which is on the floor since the frame is broken and I'm too lazy to fix it or bring in a new one. Oh, hometown? Webster City, IA

How old is your liver? 25 years, 3 weeks, and 5 days. To the best of my knowledge, it was there when I was born.

What is your gender? Female

How would you define your self? My self is a bit awkward and smells like smoked turkey.

Significant other? Married for about a year and a half. Can you believe that? Someone actually puts up with my garbage.

What is your shoe size? Depends on the shoe. Sandals and my favorite walking shoes, 7 1/2. Dress shoes, prolly an 8. Other sneakers, 8 1/2-9. I have weird feet, or shoe makers have weird sizing... I'm not sure which is more correct.

[ Favorites ]

Color? To look at: indigo. To wear: red.

Bands? Counting Crows, Barenaked Ladies

Movies? Forrest Gump, Office Space, Rain Man, Lost in Translation, Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Television Programs? House MD, Divorce Court (it's on when I get home from my overnight job, I can't help but watch)

Books? Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk, the Scrabble dictionary (I am not kidding)

Video game? I am hooked on World of Warcraft at the moment. I have lost many hours of valuable sleep to it, and have gone through major withdrawal lately due to my work schedule. But! I hit level 40 last night, at which point I promptly rejoiced and went off to get the artisan cooking quest I've been ready for since level 37. I also play BookWorm on my GBA quite a bit (my current game is on level 219), and some other assorted word games as such.

Cereal? Vanilla Crème Frosted Mini-Wheats are incredible. But if I'm actually behaving and not binging on Mini-Wheats, I eat Kashi GoLean with a cup of All Bran Extra Fiber on top. I have affectionately code-named this mixture "Colon Blow."

Instrument? I can play trumpet and French horn (trumpet is probably my favorite), baritone if the music's in treble clef (I suck at reading bass clef), and have dabbled in the recorder. I like to listen to nice flute music, though I have never been able to produce an actual note out of a flute.

Board game? Scrabble, hands-down. I am a junkie. I have it in at least 5 different media.

Pet? I really want a big, cuddly dog, but our apartment is too small.

Song? Songs are like Lay's potato chips. Can anyone ever pick just one? I'll list a few... "Tangled" by Maroon 5, "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John, "66" by Afghan Whigs, and "Freedom" by Wham!

Quote? "Fat bottom girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round." - Queen

Food? Anything breakfast-related. Also, the Chinese place down the street makes some killer chicken & broccoli, and another awesome dish called rose shrimp.

Beverage? Water, usually. I inhale coffee at work, but I wouldn't call it my favorite beverage. I do like a Diet Coke with Lime every now and then, as well as light cranberry juice.

Condiment? Gourmayo in the dijon mustard variety, or teriyaki.

[ In-depth ]

Convince us of your nerdly heritage: I scored a 30 on the ACT on my first try, with little to no sleep or preparation beforehand. I was completely immersed in the contest speech and concert/marching/jazz/pep band realms in high school. I had/have very few real-life friends, either because I'm too weird or they're too high-maintenance. I have quite a few online friends, though, because it doesn't involve direct human interaction, so I'm far less awkward. My husband and I both play World of Warcrack whenever possible (the only reason I'm not playing now is because I'm playing Scrabble). We have attended several 24 Hours of Gaming fests at the local comic book/game store, with much merriment as a result. I love to play Scrabble, am a spelling freak, and got crappy grades in school because I was too proud to ask for help when I didn't understand something (since I was supposed to be The Smart One™). I also have many of those alt- codes memorized, such as ™, which is Alt-0153. I am a master of nothing - I dabble in just about everything, but my attention span is too short to fixate on any one thing for long enough to get really, really good at it.

If I could grant you one wish, what would you wish for? To have all of our college loans paid off. I am sick of being poor.

What nerdly activities do you partake in? MUDding, World of Warcraft, Scrabble, other random gaming whenever possible (I'm not too social so it doesn't happen very often)

A Star Trek convention is coming to your town; do you go? (Yes, I added the semicolon. Forgive me.) No, because any Star Trek convention that would come to my hometown would really, really suck. Besides, Riverside is only a few hours away.

Write an interesting solution to this mathmatical problem : 4+4=? Threeve. I know that's not interesting, but I have math phobia.

You see a cloaked stranger standing in the shadows of an alley. He offers you something. What is it, and how do you reply? A poo-flinging monkey. I begin clapping wildly, while ducking poo bombs. I take it home with me, and train it to only fling poo at my adversaries.

At a gaming convention, what would you dress up as and why? I'd dress up as the shy nerd in the corner with a laptop, trying to latch onto someone's wireless internet while everyone else plays games and socializes. Oh wait, I've done that before, and it wasn't a costume.

Write a short, creative story about your plot for world conquest:
I'm a lover, not a fighter. But, I guess if I have to take over the world, I will employ my mad passive-aggressive skillz, with which I guilt those in power into letting me take charge... or maybe they're just sick of my whining, and will let me take over just to get me to shut the hell up and stop sighing that "it's not a big deal, go ahead and run the world, not like it matters."

[ Pictures ]
Please, let us endure your nerdly visage.
In reverse chronological order:

I'm soooo excited.

In a skit on Boom Night, my freshman year of college, in which I'm supposed to be Cyndi Lauper or something. Those are all guys dancing next to me. Hot.

My fourth birthday. Note the bitchin' sombrero hanging on the wall next to the mantel full of German beer steins. My dad is crazy.

[ Your thoughts ]
Please provide us with a few of your own thoughts.
I'm fresh out of thoughts for the day. I just got off of work. But if I think of anything, I'll let you know.
These guys told me what they think, though:

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