I loathe lj cuts almost as much as I loathe emoticons.
Don't use emoticons; use "demoticons". Emoticons were invented to stop people getting offended by messageboard comments; a demoticon is a combination of emoticons designed to cause offence.
Whether you're a pseudo-Zionist upsetting neo-Nazis with talk of Jewish supremacy or a pseudo-Creationist ruffling gay feathers with fervent claims that "God Hates The Gays", you might find the following dictionary of standard MSN demoticons useful. By all means use them. But, even better, create your own.
|I am a homo|
|I don't like homos|
|I fully support al Qaeda|
|I am from New Zealand|
|I am a racist|
|I can't achieve an erection|
|You are a fucking geek and I'd like to punch you in the face|
|I enjoy anal rape|
|I like golden showers|
|I strongly disapprove of mixed-race marriages|
|I enjoy laughing at people who suffer from bad acne|
|I have perpetrated date rape on at least one occasion|
|I often drink too much and end up having sex with ugly women|
|I hate ravers|
|I regularly practise oral sex with dogs|
|I'm going on a Thai sex holiday tomorrow|
|That's the last time I go down on a prostitute|
|I hate French people|
|People who enjoy office parties are cunts|
|I like making sick phonecalls|
|Sending letters full of anthrax to Americans is good fun|
|I am an enthusiastic consumer of internet animal porn|
|I saw your mom in a porn|
|Hello, son. Do you want to see some puppies? Don't tell anyone.|
|I hate Ray Charles|
Reclaim the Internet from the brainless.
Offend them eloquently.
But, most importantly, long live the demoticon!